Introduction

An Awakening
To Gift A World

The Oddest Encounter

The announcer introduced her as the "wedding singer." It was a true statement, but left a story untold that could fill a book, one that surely weighed heavily on every aspect of her auditioning and performing on The Voice. We'll return to that matter after her final performance. Secondly, her coach's comment, "...at the end you were a world-class singer!" was unknowingly foretelling, but it's the "at the end..." part that deserves mention, because it's a recurrent theme. Every performance displayed her power and range at the finish, but ended just when you wanted to hear more. I don't know whose decision that was, but I have to wonder why it was allowed to stay that way throughout the series. Lastly, not to get ahead of myself, this type of song, with tempo, range, variation, and a bit of soaring, would likely have fared better in the upcoming live round 4, as 'soaring notes get votes'. If not that, then something deeply soulful instead. Song choice is always an issue on these shows, and in my mind, it was the second biggest factor in her failure to advance beyond Round 4.

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Now let's backtrack to watch the few seconds of Round 2 that were shown, listen to the comments, then compare that to the studio recording. This performance was six weeks after her September 12 audition and, again, neither of them aired on TV. It's important to note that most viewers have already chosen their favorites by Round 3 or 4, so denying Loren and others their rightful airtime only invites more attention to this shady side of TV talent shows.

The remainder of that year centered around the summer Olympics in London, my work, and my preparation to face several world-ranked entries from Japan and Europe in December's Honolulu Marathon. On a late October evening, while cooking dinner, I grabbed the TV remote to channel surf for something interesting and came across the third season of The Voice. It had been airing for more than a month. I don't remember exactly what I was cooking at the time, but I clearly recall the moment I heard the name and turned to see the artist I had tried to find in Boston. It was such an unexpected way to happen upon her a second time. Although it was a 3rd round appearance, I hadn't missed much because only a few seconds of the Blind Audition and 2nd Round performance had been aired. Below is a link to what I turned to see that evening. Why not meet her for yourself?

There was, however, one big disappointment for me in Boston that spring. I had truly regretted not visiting the music school during my first trip and had prioritized it this time. Having learned more about the school and its list of famous alumni, I was so curious about where our young artist was in her development, but I had no luck in finding her and returned home, having now lost track of her completely. If I had been more in touch with online sites or social media, I would've seen she had left school during her second year, having been noticed on YouTube and subsequently signed a recording contract. Had I known, it certainly would've confirmed my own reaction to the audition recording I had once heard. The signing process, as later recounted, was a contentious and unsettling affair that tested her resolve, but she was eventually aided by friends who offered a place to stay in Brooklyn, where she remained and took up residence. The irony of my thinking to run the NYC Marathon later that year rather than Honolulu didn't really exist since I had no idea she was there, and wouldn't have tried to connect even if I had. Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying that someone is beyond approach just because they're a recording artist. I had several celebrity artists as clients, two singers who were also stage and film stars, and two actresses with their own TV shows, but each had been given my name first, and that makes a difference. I've always had a knack for noticing talent early, whether in athletics or entertainment. Her name was noted still, in bold letters with an asterisk, and I would be keeping an eye out for any mention of her.

The next morning, it was all I could do to make my flight home, so I never managed to visit the school. I have no idea what I would've said, but as I sat in the airport, I regretted not finding time to go there and share the bizarre account of how I happened upon her. I had come 5,000 miles and been within a few blocks of the school. It was the entire story that had captured my interest, not just the voice I'd heard. Sleeping in her van for the TV audition, choosing to audition for acceptance at Berklee, while already on a full scholarship at a fine school near home, it all just resonated with me, that willingness to reach out and grasp what felt right for her. I was seeing, in her, a version of myself at that age. I'm sure she would've been amused that she had been an added incentive for me to make it to Boston, although not quite as much so as the runners who'd laughed at me. Regardless, her name was jotted down in bold print, while those laughing runners were never again encountered or thought of.

Upon further search, I found that the Berklee College of Music was one block off the marathon course. In fact, as the course intersects the race's finishing straight on Boylston Street, if you turn right instead of left, you'd be at the school. It was enough of a coincidence to spark my interest in following the show's auditions. I saw nothing of her on TV, but I soon found an article from that same local news source, explaining that she had made it through all the rounds and auditioned for the judges, only to be sent home. That same news site posted a recording of her audition, which seemed more than worthy to me. However, the judges apparently didn't like her song choice, from a popular movie, and by an artist who had been a childhood inspiration for this young hopeful. Somewhat unfairly, the judges advanced another singer who performed the same song. Maybe stage presence or nerves played a role, but from just listening, I had liked what I heard, and I felt I had a good ear for talent. Regardless, combined with the underlying story, I had an added incentive to make my way to Boston in the spring and discover how this determined young talent was progressing.

Oahu is the most populous of the Hawaiian Islands, and I had lived on its rural far west end for about 15 years before moving to Honolulu to avoid the 90-minute commute. Being adjacent to the downtown area, I often biked to the bank or post office, rather than drive. In early 2007, a bike accident left me limping for well over a year. Having already set aside all my physical activities for work, I was now prevented from even walking. Thus, in July of 2008, I gathered what somatic awareness I had gleaned from my clinical practice and began a focused-attention approach to walking, with the hope of restoring my knee. I was soon surprised to find I limped less when I tried to jog than when I walked, and eventually worked my way back to a full recovery. Walking alongside some runners one August afternoon, I mentioned, "It would be cool to run Boston someday"—they laughed at me. The Boston Marathon is the oldest active marathon, requires stringent qualifying times, and remains on many people's bucket list for a lifetime. I had once been a decent runner, and their response burned inside me all the way home. I entered my place, walked straight to my computer, and registered for the December Honolulu Marathon that evening, as a qualifying race. Fortunately, the 2009 Boston Marathon registration window remained open til February that year. These past events I've described each played a role in how I happened upon our main character and how our two stories first became intertwined.

By age eleven, I had added Boys' Life magazine to my library and discovered an article about John Thomas, a Boston University high jumper, who became the first man to clear seven feet indoors. I lived near a lumber company and a bamboo forest, so within days, I had a sawdust landing pit, a bamboo crossbar placed between two pine trees, and I began to mimic the jumper's every move in detail. A few years later, my father asked if I would like to meet Olympian Jim Beatty, the first man to break the four-minute mile barrier indoors, and a cover figure for Sports Illustrated magazine. Running soon overtook high jumping and pole vaulting. There were highlight moments in high school and college, but afterward, sports gave way to work and family. Several years later, I exited a career as a Media Director, solemnly gathered myself from a conflict I saw as endless, and with two suitcases and meager funds, I moved to one of those places I had selected as a child and started over. I eventually settled into a career in personal health care, far removed from the world of media analysis. Odd as it may be, it was the eventual return to running that led to this story.

At the age of ten, I claimed ownership of an encyclopedia set given to my older sister and me by our parents. Her interests were elsewhere, so the books were mine, and they became my window on the world. The colorful, fact-filled section on "Earth" quickly became my favorite, and within weeks, I had created a list of places where I hoped someday to visit—maybe live. Over time, books and maps were replaced by websites with video clips. Today, although living half a world away, I still browse for places to visit or live part-time, only now it's with Google Earth, which is where the seeds of this story first took root.

The life and career of a performing artist are seldom easy. Some find ways to self-sabotage, while others succumb to poor or unscrupulous management. It's a brutally competitive industry known for its glamour and bright lights, but also for having a dark side as well. A few find themselves in the right place at the right time, while others struggle to find their own measure of success. Many come to accept less just to keep doing what they love, while others decide it's time to move on. Even when that fire has been reduced to just an ember, the slightest impetus at the right moment can reignite it to burn bigger and brighter than ever. This is just such a story, one that follows the pursuit of a dream, hindered by obstacles never imagined, including some that lie within.

The likelihood that I would ever have known of this story's main figure before 2018 was slim to none. But an unlikely confluence of events on an otherwise normal day in 2008 would uniquely connect my journey to hers. From seemingly just coinciding at first, it would intertwine, unwind, and reconnect multiple times before finally being accepted as simply a part of my past, my present, and likely my future for years to come. It is one observer's account of the incredible journey of a talented young artist, derailed by disappointment and rejection, only to begin anew and evolve toward a realization beyond anything imagined. Aside from being informative, I hope it will offer both insight and inspiration. Pursuits and dreams can be found in many forms and often lie hidden within those we least suspect of owning them. Perhaps stories like this one can inspire those individuals to stay the course and realize their dreams.

My own story becomes just a backdrop, yet connected enough to merit my sincere effort to describe this journey in the manner it deserves. To better understand that backdrop, two distinct events in childhood will help explain the how and why of what occurred that day in August 2008, when the real story began.

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We've now arrived at her final performance, the live-vote Playoff Round. I'll save most of my comments until after, because there's a lot to unpack, but a few thoughts beforehand. First off, I like the song, and I like the way it was performed. "Been Around The World" shows off Loren's skill set and is definitely in her wheelhouse. However, it brings up that same issue of "at the end", so I'll say, again, that her 2nd round performance "I Need You Now" was the only time her voice was given the freedom to vary notes, highlight the flips and transitions, and soar briefly. The live rounds are all about getting votes, not impressing coaches or critics. Also, again, it's unfortunate that the viewers didn't see this in-depth introduction to Loren long before this live episode. A note of caution: Aside from low resolution, the sound level on this video is 'high,' so adjust your volume ahead.

Part 1

How It Began

In August of 2008, I was immersed in a familiar habit ... yes, there are unfamiliar ones. I was sitting at my desk, transfixed by Google Earth's images of the places I was searching. They weren't the images we have today, but it was next-level at the time. Each city was then web-searched for facts and data as I looked for a part-time home location, and on this occasion, I was searching for cities at altitude. A few of you will already know where I'm going with this. Those runners' laughter still rang in my ears, but I'm a pragmatist, and I knew that going from a bit of jogging to marathon fitness in only a few months was a foolish plan. Injury aside, just finishing would be a challenge, so I was thinking ahead. I had returned to running with the goals of becoming competitive again, but more so to validate my work by serving as an example. Thus, searching for a part-time training site at altitude made perfect sense. I could never have imagined that my attention would suddenly land upon a small town news article having absolutely nothing to do with my search. It was about a local teenager with big dreams and a lot of determination, hoping to audition for the upcoming season of American Idol. I had enjoyed the TV show's first season, which provided a welcome break from a year of post-9/11 news, but I hadn't followed it much after that. I was about to resume my search when I saw that she had driven to the audition site and slept in her vehicle, rising at 4 a.m. to be early in line for registration. I recall thinking how proud I would've felt if that were my daughter ... showing that kind of determination. Just as I was about to return to Google Earth, I saw the word "Boston" out of the corner of my eye. She had been accepted to a prestigious music school in Boston and would attend in the fall.

Goodbye Tarnished Brick Road

*No AI-generated content

Maybe you guessed from the start that it was Loren Allred I had happened upon that day in 2008, and was finally seeing four years later. If so, then you may already be familiar with much of what's to come. Hopefully, I can offer additional knowledge and insight, and perhaps you can add to that. However, please keep in mind that this is not a biography, but simply this observer's chronicled account of her growth and transformation, as seen and heard through my own eyes and ears. Let's return to the events of that October evening. As for this 3rd round performance of "You Know I'm No Good," I was too surprised to notice much detail during that first viewing. All the searching after that bizarre discovery in 2008, the failure to find anything during the second stay in Boston, and now she suddenly appears in my living room! When I replayed it, however, two things stood out for me. It's an Amy Winehouse song, so the sultry part was a big ask, but she handled it pretty well and closed powerfully. But what I noticed most was the subdued "Thank you" directed at coach Adam Levine's gesture of support, and what I sensed as a look of resignation on her face, as if to say—"Why should I bother?" or perhaps "Why am I even here?" Maybe she was just expecting Nicole Nelson to win this Knockout Round, which was certainly possible at that point, given Loren's lack of exposure on the show. It had to be a difficult decision for Adam, and it was obviously a big surprise for Loren. But what might have been the start of a run for her would be derailed by the earlier lack of exposure and some poor guidance.

Round 3, The Voice, Oct 29, 2012 "You Know I'm No Good", after a few seconds montage of rounds 1 & 2

Playoff Round, Season 3, The Voice, Nov 5, 2012 / Loren Allred, "Been Around The World" (Team Adam)

The Voice Season 3 finally aired her 3rd round performance, having not shown her audition or round 2

The 4th Round features Loren's story for the 1st time, 8 weeks into the series, 7weeks after her unaired audition.

"Need You Now"

Loren breezes through note changes, flips the register, and soars on cue, but again would not be aired on TV

*Important: Preserve the story timeline by not looking at post-video thumbnails.

2012 was a good year for me. I had returned to Boston, and despite extreme heat, I managed a 2nd place finish in my division, despite zigzagging the entire course to catch the water sprays and shade. I don't do well in extreme heat—the islands are blessed with trade winds, and "survival" felt more important that day than a top finish! The awards ceremony that evening took place in the lavish Copley Plaza Hotel ballroom, before a huge Kenyan entourage, and with several U.S. Olympians seated around me. It was a night I'll always remember and treasure.

Hello and Goodbye

Left on Boylston Street—no choice!

Round 4 (Live)

What Aired vs What Didn't

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Round 2 / Battle Round

Round 2, The Voice, Oct 22, 2012, Loren Allred/Brian Scartocci, "Need You Now'

"When Love Takes Over"

Blind Auditon

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There are questionable aspects of Loren's appearance on The Voice that should be brought to light, and I'm happy to oblige. Starting with the four seconds of her audition that aired, comparing it to her actual audition and to those of others, suggests, by any measure, that it was worthy of being aired. I say that strictly as an observer, not a fan. An overview of the show's auditions led me to seriously question what the other two judges deemed missing. As a former media analyst, I can envision several scenarios, but setting that aside, denying both her audition and her 2nd round performance their earned airtime verged on being criminal in terms of fairness and equality. This is a shortcoming of these shows that many have come to recognize and complain about, and in this case, the questions only loomed larger over time.

Questions surround Loren's unaired audition on The Voice—confined to four seconds within a montage.

The Voice-Loren Allred/Aired blind audition vs the actual taped audition,

*This video is not available in Theater format

Ironically, after winning my big year-end race, I would bid farewell to marathons. However, an ember settled within me also, and would later spark an alternate quest that would again connect me to Loren's journey, and create what I felt was a shared moment within, as seen in Part 2 and explained in Part 3.

Perhaps with proper exposure and guidance, the experience of a TV talent show could have had more upside, but it seemed the odds were stacked against her from the start. When you're young and confused, it's easy to be misled, thinking others know best. Thus, in 2012, Loren found herself competing on The Voice. Not being voted into the next live round had to feel like the final blow—she'd had enough! Exhausted and dejected, she willingly allowed her contract to expire and be dropped by the label. Loren Allred walked away from the recording industry and the dream she once thought had been realized. She had been thwarted at every turn, denying the music world a truly gifted artist, for the sake of perpetuating the practices and abuses many artists endured within the industry, practices that ironically would soon spawn the era of the independent artist, at the industry's expense. Loren had remained true to herself through it all, relying solely on her talent and determination, and though beaten and bruised, she left with her principles and values intact. When I see someone in these situations rise above it all, it endears them to me right away! I'm well aware of the emotional scars that remain and the depression and anxiety that can linger. But often there is victory in defeat, and maybe this is where the first seeds of transformation were actually planted, although it would never have seemed so to her at the time. You might compare those seeds to that smoldering ember I spoke of in the introduction.

Adam seemed to hint at a bit of holding back, which suggested a confidence issue, and that would certainly make sense given past events. The question remains whether she had any real part in the decision to appear on the show. While still at Berklee College of Music, she had uploaded songs on YouTube that garnered attention, which soon led to her signing with a label. At that young age, it must have seemed a dream come true. However, the music industry can be a harsh place for aspiring young artists, regardless of their talent. A whirlwind of contract issues, broken promises, greed, and conduct that revealed a darker side of the industry were all there to greet her. Unknown to me at the time, Loren had seen all of that and more. Her backstory appears often in various media during the course of this story, and each seems to present the content in a misleading or inaccurate fashion. It's my understanding that producers from The Voice had approached Loren's label, seeking contestants. She was well into her contract at that point, and both of her main supporters had left to work elsewhere, leaving her career stalled in 'no man's land' with no promotion by her label, except to offer her up as a talent show contestant. The contentious and unpleasant moments during her signing process were still present in her memory, and the steady disappointment of each recorded song that was never released, or was given to others, only added to her already troubled state of mind. It's safe to say that a TV talent show was probably the last place she wanted to be, and must have seemed more like a desperation move rather than an opportunity. To truly understand her emotional state at that point, we must inhabit her journey as if it were our own, including what surely must have been a disheartening blow to her hopes and dreams in the year leading up to the show.

I've had the opportunity to occupy both the creative role and the executive behind-the-desk role in the media world. I've never understood how the decision-makers are so prone to habitual patterns and choices that preserve the status quo to ensure their position, hoping to increase the bottom line by a point or two. They just can't see the bigger picture. Whether it concerns a writer, a commissioned artist, or a singer, they simply lack the insight and foresight to recognize the potential and the qualities that could generate a hundred times the return they will see from playing it safe. When Loren's production company paired her with a couple of songwriters who, along with her, created and developed the song, "I Choose You," the sessions drew people from throughout the building just to 'see' what they were 'hearing'! When the demo was presented to several top labels, they were immediately impressed, with one ready to complete the deal and air it immediately. Everything indicated this was Loren's breakout moment—that is, until the song ended up with a producer who didn't want it sung by a new artist. It was ultimately given to Keyshia Cole as a track on her album and then as a music video. One could ask, "Why does this keep happening"? Loren will offer that she was too young and just not ready.' Well, perhaps to some degree, but I would counter that it's more often about who you're surrounded by. With the right care and guidance, her troubled mind would have found a safe haven, and a star would have been born. But maybe life just had something else in mind for her, and for the music world.

Loren's rare demo of "I Choose You" is graciously provided courtesy of Keyshia4lyfe, a Keyshia fan no doubt, who many are now grateful to, and hoping that it remains posted. Please know that I take nothing away from Keyshia, nor any of the other notable artists the song was shopped to. I'm simply suggesting you listen to the tone, the resonance, the fullness at the top, and remember that this was a demo recording. Her voice truly did shine forth with this song, and she deserved to have been the one to release it.

A breakout moment loomed on the horizon for Loren Allred when she recorded the demo for "I Choose You"

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"I Choose You," Demo (Loren Allred) 2012. co-writers Elijah Blake and Lundon Knighten

(*Name misspelled in video title)

That incentive came to mind a few times in the months that followed, and was instantly refreshed in mid-December, when I actually did qualify for Boston. Upon arrival there in April, I had every intention of visiting the music school, but was faced with commuting 20 miles from the race hub to my lodging, learning the transit system, and preparing for the race. The race went well, but afterward it was a struggle to gingerly make my way to the train, the bus, and finally a warm shower and bed. It was logistically impossible to make my way through the crowd along Boylston Street or the congested back streets leading to the music school, even if my body had physically allowed it.

Flashback...The Audition!

"Been Around the World" would have been a great song choice for the right audience. It suits her abilities nicely, the judges liked it for its nuances and jazz elements, and Loren liked it for its "bit of sass." But I have my thoughts on where, and by whom, this song would've been given its due. I'm confident that the mass audience that watched The Voice was not going to be blown away by this song, no matter how well she sang it! The average talent show viewer is neither a vocal technician nor a jazz enthusiast. However, it might still have been enough to advance her had she been shown to viewers earlier and had fan support. As for her coach's rattled comments about wanting to hear more of her powerful upper register, which was, again, only at the end, why then choose a 1-minute 48-second song that spends all but the final 20 seconds in middle register with only a 3-4 note variation? Moreover, he was there for each of her rehearsals, guiding her in how to best perform this song, yet he is saying afterwards that she should have performed it differently by adding more high notes? Someone needs to explain to me why one's coach would even mention such a thing during a live elimination round in front of a voting TV audience? It's clear, in my mind at least, that she did all that she could with what she was given, and that her appearance on the show had been blatantly mishandled from the start, raising questions in the minds of many. The mismanagement was something Loren was no doubt used to by this time, as we shall see in a moment, with some of that missing history that could have filled a book.

Some Wounds Are Deeper

Closing Thoughts

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